Posts Tagged ‘help’

This week marks the 12th anniversary of the most important phone call I ever made. Here’s how it unfolded…

It was Friday morning. My fear of the police was now bordering on dangerous. I was beginning to act irrationally, and my desperation to avoid police officers and patrol cars was going to end in disaster. Victim Support had done all they could for me, but they said I needed more help than they could offer. Through their contacts, they had come up with a list of five¬†Clinical Psychologist. There was one on the list that had dealt with ‘police phobia’ before, but they weren’t allowed to recommend one over the other. In desperation, I asked how I was supposed to know which one that was? The helpful woman offered to fax me the list and put that¬†name at the top of the list.

It took me two hours to place that call, and the answer was not what I expected. It was a paging service! ‘Dr Lee’s phone,’ the voice said. ‘What message would you like to leave?’

‘Um, I… um…’ I stammered, not sure what to say. ‘Um, Victim Support think I need to see someone.’

‘Your name and contact number…?’ I gave my details, and the phone operator continued. ‘Thank you, we’ll pass the message on.’

Great, I thought. Now what? Two minutes later, my phone rang and it was Dr Lee, who asked if I was Doris.’

‘Yes,’ I said, and repeated what I’d told the phone operator. ‘Victim Support think I need to see someone.’ There was a moment of silence and I waited to see if he would ask me what the problem was. He didn’t, so I didn’t offer any more information.

‘Okay,’ he replied, a bit hesitantly. ‘My next available appoint is August 22nd.’


‘If there’s a cancelation, would you be interested?’

‘You bet!’

He took my address, saying that he would post me an appointment card and instructions on how to get to his place, then he was gone.

I put the phone down and shook my head. You bet…? I actually said, you bet…? Oh, man. What must he think of me?!

Two hours later he called back, saying he had a cancelation for Monday at 10am.

And that’s how the rest of my life started. During my very first session, Dr Lee explained that what I was about to learn would set me up for the rest of my life. I worked hard. Really, really hard – and at times I think he had to work hard too! But he was right. What I learned has changed the way I think, feel and act. I am a much stronger person than I ever thought I could be.

There is nothing wrong with getting help if you think you need it. And sometimes the first help you seek may not be the help you need. Follow you instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, look somewhere else. Dr Lee was my second attempt. The first councillor was way off the mark, and I knew it. I tried three sessions and then I was out of there! It takes courage to try again.


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Good Monday morning everyone :) How cute is this…? With some wonderful advice from the Dalai Lama.


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We are a special bunch.

My writing family are heroes. No doubt about it. I sent out a plea for help last week, saying that I was going to be out of action for a while and was there anyone who could help with my existing contractual commitments? I may need someone to do a final pre-print check on one book, go over the final edits for another book, and the first edits for yet another book. Throw in the initial cover design of one book, and the followup cover design of another book – that’s quite a lot of work for the first 15 days of next month. And due to a medical emergency, I’m going to be out of action. When I looked at the work ahead of me, I wondered how I could possibly do what was expected, knowing what I was facing medically. I needed help.

Offers came flooding in. One from an editor I’ve never come across, (she has been following my progress over the years), others equally qualified to do any of the tasks I needed help with, some saying that if no offers of help came in they would give it a ‘shot’, others saying they would like to help but felt they weren’t qualified enough.

I’ve narrowed it down to three. If I need help, I know they will step up and do their very best for me without a second thought.

Being a ‘writer’ is like being part of a large family. Writer’s are unique in their willingness to help others succeed without being jealous of their success. We share knowledge, advice and encouragement with each other. We feel the successes and disappointments of others in their writing as well as their personal life. Yes, writer’s are special! Thank you, fellow writer’s :)


(c) DJ Stutley 2012

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Good Monday morning to you all :)

I came across the definition of a ‘good friend’ a while back, and it went something like this: A friend gives you a hug, helps, plays with you, etc. I sat back and thought about it for a moment then asked myself if I was a ‘good friend’ to others, and changed the statement into questions. Like…

Do I give hugs? Help? Do I play with my friends? Do I show love towards my friends? Do I go to my friend’s house? Am I always there for my friends? Do I share? Help when my friends are hurt? Give chocolate? Give my friends something they need? Am I nice towards my friends? Do I make a picture for my friends? Do I bully my friends?

So next time I turn up on your door step with a box of chocolates, a picture, a hug, or anything else, I hope will you recognize me as your ‘good friend’.


(c) DJ Stutley 2012

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